The journey to the session is one of anticipation – and some stress. Will I be on time, will there be a traffic jam or a problem with the U-Bahn (Berlin’s subway system)? And then I get there early, and have to wait for a bit in the car, or on the platform of the U-Bahn if I’m travelling by public transport and it’s cold or wet.   The entire day is adrenaline-fuelled: it is more difficult to concentrate at work – and will something urgent crop up which will mean I have to cancel? Fortunately, that has never happened so far, but it’s always a possibility, an uncertainty. I re-read the final version of the email I sent to my mistress suggesting games we might play in the session. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time of writing, but will I be able to cope when I'm actually in the dungeon?   Often, I place a leather strip around my balls to increase the sense of arousal on the way to the session – and I always try to wear some nice feminine panties.   I fantasise ab

I do enjoy watching videos of pissing women, but always feel it’s such a waste of good, tasty urine if there isn’t a man in position to imbibe the flow. Drinking pee is such a turn-on for me. Last summer, Mistress Bella gave me a big bottle of strong, mature urine to take home and drink, with the instruction to film myself doing it. As I obeyed her order the next morning, I found myself getting hard just from the excitement of drinking her waste. By the time I’d finished the whole bottle, half a litre of piss had sent my cock skyward.   Once, at Avalon, I decided to try the “special offer” of an hour in the toilet room with occasional visits from the ladies. It was quite fun, but the trouble was that I was lying under a toilet seat on a tiled floor, and the piss I couldn’t manage to drink just ran down my face and then down the drain. I would have preferred a setting in which the piss does not flow away, but collects around my head, so that I am surrounded by the combined liquids a

One important aspect of the session is the preparation time. I’ve never been quite sure when one should arrive for an appointment at, say, 5 p.m. – should it be ten minutes before, or should it be on the hour? – so I say in advance that I will try to arrive on the dot of the agreed time. Usually this means that the door is opened by Mistress Bella herself, as she is expecting me at that time. Sometimes at Avalon, there was the possibility of an encounter with a staff member of the neighbouring (vanilla) company, or another slave, but that was very rare.   So I’m met at the door and brought to the changing room. We don’t usually need a big chat about the forthcoming session, because we’ve emailed in advance. But there is still going to be some time in which I have to wait. This is in fact all part of the game – making the guest wait raises the level of anticipation, even of trepidation, about what is to come.   What is not so good is if this waiting time lasts too long. Once,

As I write this, my nipples, glans and balls are buzzing, and it brings to mind a wonderful session in the spring of 2019. It must have been our fourth or fifth time together, and Mistress Bella had prepared some e-stim, when I turned up with a bag of stinging nettles. The e-stim was forgotten as we experimented and played with nettles on my nipples, glans, balls, between my legs, and in my asshole (and I must confess to having enjoyed the moment when Bella got stung through her glove...).     I was extremely turned on by the whole thing, and loved the feel of the nettles. But it was only after I came that I realised how intense the session had been: my glans felt numb, and my nipples were buzzing as though with electricity, for about three days afterwards. It took me that long to return to normal, to feel normal when peeing, and to have any sensation in my glans. It also showed me how greatly my tolerance for pain increases when I am turned on.   Bella took some pictures, and

The taboo about paying for sexual services seems odd to me. Society finds it acceptable for people to pay for just about anything else. My physically disabled mother, for example, pays money to have people come to her house and do pretty much everything: cleaning, preparing food, feeding her, giving her medicine, washing her, brushing her teeth, inserting and removing catheters, cleaning her bottom, rubbing cream into her skin, cutting her nails, every possible physical service to the human body, apart from anything sexual. If she were younger and wanting sexual release, but unable to help herself due to her disabilities, would it be right to deny her that wish? Surely sexual release is part of good health.   I don’t fully understand why this boundary is drawn. Why should people not be allowed to provide others with something that benefits their health? I realise that people can be exploited, but people in many other occupations are miserably exploited too, and the solution there is

I’ve always been fond of having sex when my partner has her period. Not only is the likelihood of conception down to zero, but she is also more sensitive. I’m only sad that she doesn’t fancy cunnilingus when she’s menstruating – I would have no problem going down on her, but she doesn’t like the thought. But if there are women in Berlin who wish to be licked during their period, I’ll be happy to oblige. Mistress Bella surprised me towards the end of one session by placing me on the floor, sitting above me and pulling a tampon out of her vagina. She was nearly at the end of her period, so the tampon wasn’t very bloody, but it was still nice and tasty when she placed it in my mouth and ordered me to suck on it. What a wonderful idea! The next session was exactly four weeks later, so this time she put her tampon in my mouth before I even got changed, and then put a strip of leather over my mouth to keep the tampon in place – as if I would have let it drop out! Once again, it was a

An SM session isn’t cheap. On the other hand, the prices have barely risen since I first visited Avalon in 2000, when a half-hour session cost DM200. Prices went up to €120 for half an hour when the euro was introduced, but stayed that way until 2019, which always amazed me. Now it costs €150 for half an hour, or €250 for an hour, which may sound expensive compared with, say, visiting a prostitute. But a punter paying a prostitute €50 for half an hour will find that the session ends as soon as he comes, and the prostitute has no incentive to draw things out. He will find that there are a limited number of ways to fuck, suck, etc. So it may all be over in a few minutes. She will probably do her best to make sure it is. Nor will she want to waste her time whilst he cleans up in whatever limited facilities there are.   At an SM Studio, you have proper showers, somewhere to change, and a dominatrix who will give you the time you have paid for, if not more. She will talk to you before