Exhibitionism

I am an exhibitionist. Not in the German sense of the word, which means “flasher”, but in the sense that I love to be naked in public – as long as it doesn’t offend anyone.

I love going to the FKK (= nudist) beach, and can’t imagine why anyone would want to wear bathers when swimming (and especially not the baggy Bermuda shorts that men are expected to have flopping awkwardly around their midriff and legs). I love sitting naked on my partner’s balcony for a post-coital lunch – anyone can look up from the street and see me, but no-one ever does.

I love the German attitude to nudity, so much more open than the prudishness of my home country. I feel very much at home as a “vanilla nudist” in Berlin and Germany.

And perhaps you won’t be surprised to hear that I have fantasies about being publicly displayed and humiliated. I mentioned in a previous post that I once tried it for myself, driving to a session at Avalon without trousers on, wearing bright red panties. But that didn't go so well and I was worried that my self-humiliation would end up with me being clearly identifiable on the internet.

As it happens, Mistress Bella has posted excerpts from our sessions online, and I am definitely turned on by this form of (relatively) safe public humiliation. Before she did that, I couldn't have imagined that thousands of people would actually want to view videos of my ageing and very hairy body, no matter how good the ballbusting.

A physically public BDSM session is clearly not on the agenda. I don't want to offend people or get arrested. Though who knows, maybe Mistress Bella has ways of making it possible. We have discussed her taking me to a gay cruising area - but that leads us into the area of “forced bi”, which will divert us into an entirely different blog post.

However, in the "other world" of a studio, i.e. in a controlled BDSM environment, where everyone is there because they love kink, I don't mind who sees my pain, my humiliation, my face.

So I said to Bella at one of our first sessions that I was happy for anyone to watch us play, or for other dommes and subs to take part. And on occasion, she has invited various other dommes to join in with the session.

In fact, she recently talked to me about her ideas for sessions in which she invites a few vanilla girl friends to the studio and shows them how to use a slave. That idea has led to plenty of fantasies on my part…

Perhaps, one day, we'll have a joint session with another sub. I could of course pay extra and have a joint session with Mistress Bella and a female sub – that would be fascinating, and I have fantasised about that after watching some of the videos on Mistress Bella's Onlyfans page. It would be highly erotic, easy for me to arrange, and definitely a lot of fun. If I’m honest, though, the real, deeper desire is to be forced to play with another male sub, because I genuinely don’t know how I would cope with it.

Quite apart from that, if a voyeur wants to watch my pain and humiliation, they should send a request to Mistress Bella. The decision whether to approve the request would be hers, and she would control the situation, for which she would be entitled to appropriate recompense.